Words instead of pictures..

So yesterday I sitting with my youngest who just started 1 grade and helping him with his homework, when I had a wow! mom moment. I watched him so intendly doing his homework. He is perfectionist. He concentrates really hard. He is also left handed. I sat next to him in my bed, I could smell the scent only he has, I watched his face intendly and realized that my love for him is so deep, as with all my children, but at that moment I let it take over all my senses. He is my baby, as my other kids remind me he will always be my baby. I realized he keeps taking big steps, but for now I am next to him because he still needs me. My older son had to write an essay on who was his hero, and he picked me. His essay was very simple, but to the point. I love my children so much. Each of them are so different. When I got home from a long night at Wal-mart I told D. about this intense emotion and I asked him if I was crazy or if it was because he is my baby- of course he said it is because he is your baby and will always be your baby. I read the other day about sometimes we take to many pictures of events, instead of absorbing the smells, feelings and emotions related to a certain event. So I stopped and absorbed those moments. No, I didn't get any pictures, but there are pictures in my mind and the words to describe that moment would be-love, concentration, perfection, fresh, my baby-

camping with the Young Women

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cool new website

I found this site and I hope to use it wisely to benefit my family and me. Now that the kids are in school I have a few long days by myself. I need to feel that I am busy and benefiting my family in whatever need I can.

survival of the fittest..at least we try

Well, yes we have almost survived this week. Ak went to school yesterday, it went okay, she came home with a huge migraine and lots of tears, but she took some 911 meds and slept most of the night. Carson loves school except he has a lot of homework each night. It takes us about 1-2 hours. Yesterday at about 11am I called HF and asked her what I was suppose to do, I had 4 hours left of no kids. She so kindly offered me Matthew, I declined because I really do have stuff but I just didn't want to. I sorted through stuff. Today we went to Shriners for Bryan's yearly check up. They said his legs are doing better, but to follow up next year. We are still not out of the woods for surgery, his growth will determine that. Tomorrow night me and the girls are going on a surprise camping trip with the bishopric. We just don't know were we are going. I work tonight. I had better get grub for the troops.

Home at last..yet no cure..

Well, yesterday was a big day for the whole family Casey, Carson, and Bryan started their first day of school. As Bryan put it, Alexis should be with us. Carson started first grade, now he goes all day, Casey goes into 3rd and Bryan goes into 5th which is middle school for him. I came home from the hospital sunday night to get everything ready. I took them the school monday morning. THey were all ready and excited. I was really nervous, more so for Bryan because it will be a big change. Luckily their school is small and all their friends will be there. After dropping them off I headed up to the hospital to relieve Duane so he could go to work.
So another boring day at the hospital. Each dose of meds they up and each time she gets sicker afterwards. The meds. seem to help a little, but they have not completely stopped the migraines. They kids had a great day, daddy picked them up and treated them to slushies. Ak and I did crafts when she wasn't sleeping or feeling not so hot. At 8is last night they gave her last dose and there was no reason to keep her afterwards because there wasn't much more to do. Duane came down to pcik us up. After her dose we had to wait awhile because it makes her really sick to her stomach. After she felt better they took the PICC line out and we were free to go. It feels good to sleep in my own bed. AK couldn't wait to get home especially to Suna. Well, now we all under one house again...

primary childrens and Ak

Ak has been in the hospital since friday morning. Yesterday was a long boring day of testing, she had blood work, ekg and MRI and MRA. Her headache has been doing okay since she has been here, but it gos up when she gets stressed. Today has been a long day. We started the test meds for her which is called DHE. Because it is such a strong med, they have to moniter it closely. Right now we are waiting for them to finish putting in the PICC line. They have to sedate her and won't let us in the room. Daddy is having a hard time. We have had a lot of laughs today, Megan came up with Duane today, it has been for AK. Her IV has been giving her a lot of pain, because the med is so strong to go into a regular vein. They are hoping she will go home on Mon. afternoon. Thanks for all the love and support.

Happy Birthday to you.. I love you

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Hospitals and more hospitals...

Well, today has been one long day. It started this morning with a meeting at Murray Park. I am on the ICC committee, which is a govenor appointed position, we meet with several goverment intidies. I am a parent rep for kids with disabilities-especially baby watch and early intervention. We are doing an awareness affair in Sept. and we have been planning all summer-it should be a lot of fun. After that meeting me, AK, and Bryan headed to Shriners for Bryan's neurology check up for his tremors. She said he is doing about the same, which is good, but Bryan thinks he might me color blind so now I need to get him in to an eye doctor. After that visit we headed up to Primary Childrens for Ak's neurology appointment. The news is what we had anticipated and also not what we had prepared for. Originally they told us she might be in for 24 hours, Well they are going to admit her into the hospital on friday, because the medicine she has been weaning off has to be out of her system for 24-48 hours. They plan to keep her 4-5 days or more. They plan to do an MRI (brain) and MRA (blodd vessel). They start school on monday..So now my world has done a flip this weekend. Ak is nervous but anxious to get rid of this migraine she has had for 2 months. They will put a pic line in her upper arm for the meds they will give her. The meds will make her sick and nauseaus medicine will make her tired. Traffic coming home from SLC was terrible, thus my migraine went into full force. I am home now, trying to take a breather and make sure everything is ready for this weekend and for school on Monday. More on this later...

Happy 30th Anniversary!!! mom and dad

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Olympics and memories

In honor of the olympics starting, I found this cool paper. The olympics always remind me of my first day at college. That was when I met my friends. I was alone and not sure of were to go so I wandered down to the lounge and started watching the olympics, it was in LA. It reminds me of college especially my freshman year, all the new friends and emotions that come with a major change in your life. It has been 20 years since I started college....

Headaches and more headaches...

Well, another day at work-it can be a huge headache, but it is over with. Alexis is still fighting a bad migraine, she has had it for two months, it comes and goes, but mostly comes. She has an appointment on tues. at Primary Children's with her neurologist, but she has already talked about hospitalizing her to hit her with some heavy pain meds to break the cycle. I called her this afternoon, we are just waiting to hear back from her to see what our next step is. I can blame my mom for these migraines-they run strongly in our family. We now just wait.

flooding, learning and leaving

Well after my many hours yesterday of trying to tackle this blogging thing, I went down to change laundry and to my surprise my floor was wet...not the washing machine, but someone had left the hose on outside (hours) and it seeped into the floor of the basement. Not only is it wet, but it was also house water-not secondary so the cost will be high. Luckily it only got about a 3 x 8 area wet. We went and borrowed a shop vac from a neighbor, wow..it really sucks!!!! I want one just like it. Finally after moving our food storage cabinet and our heavy duty file cabinet we were able to lift the carpet. It was still wet this morning, but I went to work and had Alexis try and suck some water. That wasn't my only sad moment, my parents are moving from Mississippi to New Hampshire-now that is not closer-is it???? And to top it off HF is taking my cute little neice and nephew (And sweet brother-in-law) away to Portland. I guess I could look at it as two more places to go for vacations. I think this blogging thing is kind of fun, it keeps me in touch that mean a lot to me..thanks for the support.

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